Wanna Know How I Feel?

At this point in my studies, leadership has become something that I am now thinking about on a day-to-day basis. It may sound weird but the readings on theories and our class discussions keep me anxious to learn and discover more about myself through leadership. As I discussed previously, I’ve always had a big heart for serving others and putting their wants/needs before my own, which is why I am classified as the “caregiver”. I believe first and foremost that I will probably always be the “caregiver” type in my leadership behaviors yet my vision has broadened immensely since our leadership theory journey began this semester. Prior, I felt very closed minded in that I viewed leadership as a process of which can be attained by a multitude of people, so long as they are willing to commit and try. Now, I view leadership with an open heart and an open mind. I am inspired to try new things and branch out in my leadership ways. There have been times where I have failed as a leader and quite frankly; maybe I just wasn’t cut out for the position or the situation I was in. On the other hand, maybe I just wasn’t willing to explore other options and ways to behave as a leader because thus far I have been so set in serving others and placing their wishes before mine. My feelings for the most part have remained the same because I know that this is how I am by nature, yet I know there is so much left inside of me as a leader that I have yet to explore. I am eager to begin practicing new ways of leadership and taking all that I have learned thus far into account. I am now more aware and more confident as a leader because of the knowledge that I have attained, even though I have so much left to learn. My belief is that I can learn all I want to by the book and by talking about theory, but until I actually get out there and experience these situations first handedly, my journey has not yet begun. I think this may be why I have been thinking about leadership so often, on a daily basis as I mentioned… I am anxiously awaiting a time when I can explore the real deal and dive into my practice as a leader.